No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
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