kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
