How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize