4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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