Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
