He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
