Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
