white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Randomize
