Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
