I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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