Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
