Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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