first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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