Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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