everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
