I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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