remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
