scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
