I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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