I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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