I got chris browned last night
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I made him laugh his dick is mine
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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