Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize