Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
God, I missed his penis.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize