So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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