quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
