Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Randomize
