I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
