We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
Randomize
