the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
