Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
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