Pregnant stripper...not hot.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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