I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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