I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
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