i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
