oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You smell like stripper and shame
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Vodka?
Forever.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
