don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
