Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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