My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I understand Curling. That high.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
