He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize