i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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