fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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