Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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