sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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