On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
