Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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