He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
