i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
