i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
