Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
