I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
