$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Randomize
