There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
