Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
