apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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