Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
