I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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