yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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