she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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