You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
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