a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
