it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
