I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
