Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
