While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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