I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
