I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
