great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Randomize