Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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