On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
