thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
