is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize