Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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