We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
