apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
