I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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