he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
you mean i was at the winter classic?
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
