Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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