Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize