Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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