We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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